Bumps and bruises OR Why you shouldn't learn to ride a bike when you're 37 years old.

So my neighbor across the street had a great idea a few months ago. She was entering a triathlon so she could write an article about it for a magazine and offered to let me tag along and train with her. The only problem? I've never owned a bike and I don't know how to swim. But you know me- why let that hold me back?

Now, I did, technically know how to swim. This is a topic we've discussed before, but to refresh any of those un-interested in searching my archive of other boring topics, I took swimming lessons for a month when I was about 11 years old and never swam again. I mean, I went in the water- but never tried to swim laps or anything because I never got very good in that month and I HATE doing anything I'm not good at. Anyway, I discovered this really revolutionary method of swimming called "Total Immersion." It has been amazing and the results have been pretty dramatic. I had worked a couple of days a week for a month and been able to swim about 4 laps without stopping. After doing "Total Immersion" for a week I stopped counting how many laps I swam... I could just go on without getting tired. Now, I still have more work but continue to see progress and yesterday Tyler said I was getting hard to keep up with. I like that!

So why was Tyler swimming with me on Monday? Last week, my neighbor and I were attempting a bike ride. I bought a bike, but the weather has been so bad that I've only ridden it a couple of times. Unfortunately she fell and we had to spend a couple of hours in the E.R. instead of going for a bike ride. That should have clued me in that this is hard... she's had a lot more experience than me, but of course I just figured it was a crazy accident.

But let's back track for a moment. I learned to ride a bike when I was a kid... on my mother's bike. I think I was like 7 years old or something. It was a tan Schwinn and the only thing I remember about it was that I had to prop it up and climb up this metal column on the breazeway to attempt to ride it. It hurt TONS when I fell, I could barely reach the pedals, but somehow I learned to ride it. Why didn't I have my own? There were no sidewalks where we lived and the road was super dangerous and I wasn't allowed to ride on it. Anyway, fast forward to 1994 when I went "back packing" through Europe. All my friends rode bikes and Erin and I even rented some bikes while we were in Germany, but I never got good at it. By "never got good," I mean that all my friends laughed at how I weaved around and I think I ran into a tree when Erin and I were riding.

When I went to buy my new bike, I was so terrified of it, we propped it against the counter and one of the employees held on to one side while we attempted to "fit" it. I brought it home and practiced quite a bit on our awesome, huge driveway and felt pretty good. My first bike ride was by myself. It went really well. I actually just rode down to the park and rode around it a few times. This was a good idea. This morning was a BAD idea.

I figured, why go someplace boring when there are awesome trails in the mountains? After 45 minutes of riding straight uphill, I was pretty tired. By "pretty tired," I mean that I was pretty sure I couldn't make it home. The part of the trail before I turned around was a pretty steep decline, so I knew I had to go uphill for quite a way before I could go completely downhill all the way home. So I had the genius idea of taking a "short cut." I would go on a bike "trail" for a little way and then hook back up to the main road. Only problem? This trail was made for walking/running or a mountain bike and I was on a road bike. And then... there was a huge hole where they were putting in a new metal pipe for some reason. I tried to stop and turn, but to no avail. I crashed my bike and face planted. Luckily I was able to call Tyler and he came and got me because I bent the handlebar. So sad!! I don't know which I was more sad about... the fact that I was bleeding all over the place or that my bike was crashed. Well, probably that I was bleeding all over the place because now I have to endure the looks and questions of what happened.

Will the humiliation never end? I just healed from a huge gash on my forehead. The boys left some yogurt containers outside. I bent down to pick them up and forgot that the window above me was open. Anyway, word to the wise. Learn to ride a bike when you are a kid or not at all! Hmmm... I guess I'm not wise... the bike's in the shop and I fully expect to be back at it by Saturday.