As many of you know, I've been trying to work on this children's book. What I've found, though, is that I have a great idea, but I am a terrible writer. So I've decided to try an experiment. I will post what I have, chapter by chapter, and have all of you help me write it. Any help, critique, suggestions will really be useful, so don't hold back. The audience is about 8-12 year olds. You can log in anonymously and you won't be hooked into any junk you don't want, so don't be afraid to comment. I know this is long...it might be easier to read it if you cut and paste into a "word" file. If you have any friends or relatives that are writers, feel free to send them this direction!
Martha of the Mill
Chapter 1
Martha took a deep breath and pulled her shoulders up higher. It was 4:30 in the morning, and she was tired already. As she stood with the other girls, waiting to go inside the factory, she tried to think of three good things to look forward to that day.
First, maybe she would get to work on the side of the loom closest to the window. If that happened, sometimes she could take a minute to look outside at the sunshine. Second, maybe she would find a new friend to talk to during the afternoon break and third… Before she could think of a third, the door opened and the overseer beckoned the girls to hurry inside.
Her mother taught her that trick, to think of three good things in the hopes that it would make each day happier. But lately it was getting harder and harder to think of even one. Until two weeks ago, Martha had attended school and helped her mother sew clothes for dolls in the evenings and on weekends. That was before her father died and the family needed the extra money that Martha could bring home.
She stood by the loom and braced herself for the deafening noise and shudder of the floor as all the machines began. Martha was a piecer and stood all day watching for broken threads which she hurried to tie together. The first day had been fun, almost like an "“I Spy"” game as she carefully watched the threads, but it soon grew dull and she worried that she would miss a thread and make the overseer angry. But knowing that her family depended on the 2 or 3 shillings she could bring home each week for food made it impossible to even think of quitting.
The morning passed by slowly, but finally the bell rang, signaling the morning break. Martha hurried to the room serving food, not because she was interested in the gruel and hard bread served, but because she wanted to keep an eye out for anyone who might be a friend. She quickly spotted Savannah, her red curly hair was hard to miss. "“No,"” she thought, "Someone else would be better."” She knew that Savannah had quit school and come to work a year earlier. Not because she had to, but because she wanted to. Martha truly could not understand that and felt they would have little in common. She continued to scan the crowded room and was surprised when she felt a tug on her sleeve.
"“Don'’t I know you?"” asked the girl.
Martha sighed, it was Savannah.
"Yes," she said. "I was in the Common School with you."
"“I thought I recognized you, but I never thought to see you here,"” said Savannah.
Martha really did not want to discuss her reasons for working in the factory so she didn't say anything.
"“Would you like to eat together?"” asked Savannah.
"“Okay,"” said Martha, thinking that saying "“No"would just be rude.
They got their food and quickly ran to outside court, knowing they only had a few moments to gulp it down before returning to work.
"Do you like working here?" Martha asked, her curiosity getting the best of her.
"“Well, it'’s steady work and afterwards, my time is my own,"” Savannah replied.
"“What do you mean?"” asked Martha.
"“I have to work somewhere and if I worked as a servant, all of my time would be spent doing something for someone else. At least this way, I can go home and spend my time as I like. Would you like to come home with me this evening?"” asked Savannah.
"“I can'’t,"” Martha replied. "“I have to help my mother with dinner and then we sew doll clothes in the evening."”
Their conversation was interrupted by the sound of the bell, calling them back to work.
