On this day...

Five years ago, on this day I was up at 4 a.m. Okay... TODAY I was also up at 4 a.m. to feed this little bundle.
But five years ago, I was 20 lbs. lighter and getting ready to run my first marathon. I was thinking about it this morning... realizing that I never wrote about it (one of those things I was going to write in a "journal", but never got around to it). Tyler and I have been running "together" this week...or should I say, at the same time. He is so much taller than me and thinner, he's always about a block ahead. Anyway, my plantar faciitis has been nagging and I'm coming to the sad conclusion that I may never run another marathon... so I better write what I remember so I don't forget. WARNING- this is long. Feel free to skim or skip this entry.

I had been running for less than a year when I decided to run the Deseret News Marathon. I had increased my mileage to six miles and kind of got stuck there. When Martha called me the morning after Mama died, I got up and started running. I ran eight miles that day and realized that running distance was more about mind control than fitness level. 2003 was the last year for the original Deseret Morning News Marathon and it was one I didn't want to miss. They still have a marathon called that now, but it doesn't follow the same route as the original pioneers.

Fast forward to July 24th. I caught the last bus at 4 a.m. and we made our way up to the Park City golf course. It was totally dark when we started to run. There where no lights on the road and you literally couldn't see anything except the people in front of you. As the sun came up... we where greeted by a gorgeous sunrise and you could see that the road was going straight up and you couldn't see where it ended. It was interesting to me how many people started walking at that point. They seemed to just give up in the first 20 minutes of the race. For a little while, I wondered if they all knew something I didn't, but John (my brother) had told me... "Whatever you do, don't walk. If you need to, run slow, but don't walk." So I renewed my commitment and kept on running. I never saw those people that started the race with me again.

The next 16 miles were kind of surreal. I hadn't driven the route, so I didn't really know what to expect and it was gorgeous! One thing I loved about this marathon was that it was before most people had ipods and since it was a fairly small race, we all just kind of talked together. As we came down to where the route turned on to Foothill Drive, I thought the worst was over. I had run the 10K before, and I thought I was almost to the starting line of that race. I decided to stop at one of the few porta-potties on the route before the last leg. I had to wait in line for a while, and by the time my turn came up... my legs were burning like crazy. I had a Motrin in my pocket that I took and decided that no matter what... I wasn't stopping again.

We started running uphill again when we came to the U campus. Pretty soon I realized that this was not the route of the 10K and it was not leveling off. Everyone around me was walking. I would run up to someone and say, "When do we start going down," and everyone would say, "This is a different route. I have no idea." So I would run to the next person and get the same answer. I have never wanted to walk so badly. This was the only point that I considered that maybe I was not going to finish... and then I saw it.... a flat stretch of road with drinks, and the road started going down.

I got my next rush to finish. I was so excited because I knew I could do the rest. It wasn't long until Tyler met me on the road with a fresh drink. That also gave me a boost. I told him I thought it would take me about an hour to finish (I had 6 more miles). After he left, I came up to another guy I knew from the practice runs. He was just a little faster than me and we always played this game of tag during the runs. I would run past him for about a mile, he would catch me and run faster than me for a mile. I ran up to him and said, "Let's go.... we're almost done." But he had lost his drive. He just waved me on by.

Then we hit the parade crowds. There is nothing better than being cheered on by crowds of people. I felt so good and started to sprint to the finish. Unfortunately that meant that I was faster than I anticipated and no one was there when I finished... but it was a great feeling.

It took me a while to find my family, and I found the guy I used to play tag with. He said he couldn't believe I beat him and asked if I had seen the guy with the artificial leg. He said, "That guy passed me at the end. I wanted to reach out and trip him so bad." What an awful thing to say... but it was funny.

The feeling of finishing a marathon is indescribable. You honestly feel like there is nothing you cannot do. Although my time on my next marathon was faster, there wasn't quite the same feeling. If I do get to do another one, I think it will feel pretty significant after the things I've gone through physically to get there. We'll see what the future brings, but I am so glad I did the ones I did. I learned so much about myself, about making and keeping goals, about meditation and the power of the mind, and about being grateful for what my body can do. Who's next?